Tommy Boy

TOMMY BOY QUOTES

Tommy: Holy shnikies!

Tommy: I did call earlier when using the phone.
Richard: Earlier when was that?
Tommy: Or later when then I uh left a message.
Richard: A message what number did you call?
Tommy: 24 niner 5678
Richard: Cant hear you your trailing off, and did I catch a niner in there were you calling from a walkie talkie?
Tommy: No it was cordless.

Richard: Oh come on damn it! Aww that sounds good melted chocolate inside the dash that really ups the resale value.
Tommy: I think your going to be okay here they have a thin candy shell, Im surprised you didnt know that.
Richard: I think your brain has thick candy shell.
Tommy: Your brain your brains has the shell on it.
Richard: Are you talking.
Tommy: Shut up Richard.

Richard: Mr. Challehan I need you John Hancock on these reports.
Tommy: John Hancock, it's Herbie Hancock dur.

Richard: It's called reading top to bottom left to right a group words together is a sentences. Take and Tylenol for any headaches Midol for any cramps.
Tommy: Shut up Richard.

Big Tom: Tom I've asked Beverly to be my wife.
Tommy: WOW HAHAH MAN HAHAHA! What she say?

Tommy: Brother?
Paul: You must be Tommy, Im Paul.
Tommy: Brothers dont shake hands, brothers gotta hug.

Guy: Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?
Tommy: HAHAH Why?

Big Tom: So how do we look?
Richard: Chubby. Hahaha, I think thats the champagne talking.

Big Tom: Fair enough of course I could get a hell of a good look at a t-bone stake by sticking my head up a bulls ass, but I rather take the butchers word for it.

Kid 1: Hey tubo you aint movin HAHA!
Tommy: Yeah need a little wind here.
Kid 1: No you need to drop a couple hundred pounds blimp. HAHA!
Tommy: haha rascals. I guess thats your theory. So will see what happens tomorrow.
Kid 2: Hey your sail is limp, like you dick.
Tommy: Watch the language in front of the lady punk! Jeese you were saying.
Kid 2: Hey Gilagin did you eat the Skipper.
Tommy: YOU BETTER PRAY TO THE GOD OF SKINNY PUNKS THAT THIS WIND DOESNT PICK UP BECAUSE ILL COME OVER THERE AND JAM AN ORE UP YOUR ASS.
All Kids: Ooooo
Tommy: I hate those cheepers those kids keep interrupting us. So you were saying about...
Kid 3: Hey lady look out theres a fat whale on your bout.
Kid 2: Yeah free Willy.
Julie: LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SPAZOIDS I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND IVE SEEN WHERE YOU SLEEP I SREAW TO EVERYTHING HOLY THAT YOU MOTHERS WILL CRY WHEN THEY SEE WHAT IVE DONE TO YOU I was just kidding I have know idea where they live.
Tommy: That was awesome. Hahaha

Richard: Eww I can actually hear you getting fatter. What did I tell you about eating in the car anyway?
Tommy: That it's not good because it spoils you dinner.

Richard: Im going to ask directions to our next huge embarrassing failure.
Tommy: You're a huge embarrassing failure.
Richard: What?
Tommy: Nothing.

Tommy: Yeah but where are we gonna take the deer?
Richard: I don't know, the vet.
Tommy: You take dead animals to the vet.
Richard: Why not, take you to the vet?
Tommy: Yeah I'll take you to the...
Richard: You got that?
Tommy: Shut up.

Tommy: What my associate is trying to say um...is our new brake pads are really cool...you are not even going to believe it. like um... lets say you're driving along the road with your family. and you're driving along...la li la... and there is a truck tire in the middle of the road and you hit the brakes. EEERRR! wow that was close! now lets see what happens when you are driving with the other guys brake pads. you're driving along, driving along and all of a sudden the kids are yelling from the back seat, ' i gotta go to the bathroom daddy!' 'NOT NOW DAMN IT!' TRUCK TIRE! EERRR I CANT STOP! HELP! THERE'S A CLIFF...AAAHHH! AND YOUR FAMILY IS SCREAMING, 'OH MY GOSH WE'RE BURNING ALIVE! NO! I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!' here comes the meat wagon...weoweoweo. the medic gets out and says, 'oh my gosh!' the new guy in the corner puking his guts out::uuugggghhh uuuggghhh:: All because you wanted to save a couple extra pennies haha to me it doesn't...
Man: get out! now!
Tommy: do you validate?
Man: NOW!!

Tommy: Hey I'll tell you what you can get a good look at a butchers ass by sticking you head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it.
Guy: What? I'm uh.. failing to make the connection here son.
Tommy: No I mean you can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butchers ass but then no it's gotta be your bull.

Tommy: Let me tell you why I suck as a salesmen. Lets say I go into some guys office lets say he's even remotely interested in buying something well then I get all excited I'm like Joe Joe the Indian Circus Boy with a pretty new pet (the pet is my possible sale) Oh my pretty little pet I love you so I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet you're naughty and than I take my naughty pet and I go (clrrrr clrrr) Aahhh I killed it, I killed my sale. Thats when I blow it.

Tommy: He seems like a nice guy.
Richard: This is the guy trying to buy the company not to mention put you out in the streets and all you can say is he seems like a nice guy."
Tommy: haha He does.

Tommy: Richard, is this your coat HAHA?
Richard: Don't do it.
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Don't.
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat, Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Take it off dick head Im serious.
Tommy: Richard whats happening(rip) Uh Oh.

Tommy:You know where the weight room is? I'll check it out.

Tommy: I'm back. Richard, what were you doing?
Richard: Going over some documents.
Tommy:Where are they, jeese I dont see them?
Richard: They're in my briefcase. I thought you were getting pizza.
Tommy: They were closed. How could you be reading documents when they're in your briefcase hmm that's a mystery. Richard, were you watching spank tradition?
Richard: Okay then lets hit it
Tommy:Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian, Oh whats his name Buddy Wacket.
Richard: All right then lets get some shuteye.
Tommy: Hey that's a pretty girl down there.
Richard: Good for her.
Tommy: I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees.
Richard: Couldnt tell you.

Richard: House keeping.
Tommy: No thank you, sleeping.
Richard: House keeping?
Tommy: Come back in an hour.
Richard: House keeping you want towels?
Tommy: No towels need sleepy.
Richard: House keeping you want mint for pillow?
Tommy: NO PLEASE GO AWAY LET ME SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Richard: House keeping you want me jerk you off.
Tommy: Now what the hell kind of house keeping is this. Oh it's you.
Richard: Good morning sunshine. Hey guess what I just called Auto Tech they decided to make an order. According to my calculations that puts us over the mark.
Tommy: We did it?
Richard: We did it.
Tommy: Yes! Oh Richard Im so happy hold me.
Richard: Yikes.
Tommy: Dont run away from you feelings

Tommy: R.T. I lost my virginity to your daughter for crying out loud, Rob you were there.

taken from here: http://sawesomeford.tripod.com/andrewsafford2/id1.html

Hit Counter